Interview With A Dark Magician
by OrangeGirlExplosion
Summary: Yami's Dark Magician talks about a Pharaoh, a priest and a koi of his own.


Disclaimer: Don't laugh! You just as broke as I am!

Summary: Yami's Dark Magician watches as his master and his koi enjoy life with a koi of his own.

Hello.

I am a Dark Magician.

But I have a name. 

It's Tridish.

Call me Trish and I swear you'll live to regret it!!

Now about my master, ne? ^_^

His name is Yami Mouto. But it wasn't always. He was a Pharaoh 5000 years ago. And 5000 years ago, his name was Yagami. Yagami-san started out as a cruel, arrogant, uncaring brat. I didn't really like working under him. He could care less about is mages and other monsters. Back then it was, what do you modern humans say? 

Oh yeah.

" My way or the highway." 

Yeah, that's the way he was. If we didn't win, our tablets were destroyed and we were killed. That was why I always won. The idea of eternal darkness didn't exactly seem too appealing to me, so I kinda dodged that dagger.

It was hard for a while. He was a total jerk. And I was his favorite monster. Isn't that just the peach of the tree? He used me so much. And he liked to talk. A LOT. Imagine hearing him rant and taunt his obviously weaker opponent for hours on end.  I cannot tell you the many times I wanted to just beat him over the head with my staff or cast a silence spell on him. Had a mouth like an outboard motor. What a pest he was…

But as bad as things were at the time, I knew something was going to happen. He was gaining too much power and turning into too much of an ass for nothing not to happen. There were at least 7 people out to get him and he was letting them run the country for him. He had as much interest in dealing with civilians as a camel did in a diamond. 

But something else happened. Certainly not what I expected, but at least it was something; so I couldn't really complain. This slave was brought in from one of the villages he terrorized on a weekly basis. 

His name was Sephiroth. Sephiroth wasn't what you call a typical slave. He didn't fear Yagami-san. He didn't respect him. He didn't like him and he didn't mind telling him so. He practically laid himself out on the guillotine. But Yagami-san didn't have him killed; no he made him his personal slave.

At least it kept him away from me. When he called me again, it had been months. I was quite enjoying myself on my little vacation. I hadn't battled in so long, I was feeling rather lazy. I almost got destroyed; but I got my senses back and beat my opponent. But there was something different about the Pharaoh. 

He was actually…nice.

He didn't taunt or rant on and on about how his opponent stood no chance. He didn't senselessly sacrifice us. He didn't even banish the loser to the Shadow Realm. This was so unlike him. I didn't know if he'd been hit on the head or he was someone else wearing a Yagami-san mask.

Then he did something really wild. The slave, Sephiroth, was standing next to him the whole time our battle raged on.  Well, Yagami-san grabbed him and kissed him. No, wait, let me correct that.

He sucked on his face.

" As if you aren't guilty of the same thing!!"

Excuse me.

" Do you mind? I'm trying to tell a story!"

" Just don't be the Thousand Dragon calling the Red Eyes Black Dragon scaly!!"

" What?! Do you even know what you just said?"

" I think sooooonot really."

" You know what, Nevermind. Just don't interrupt me again!!"

Now then, where was I? Oh yeah.  
  


This was more than a little of a shock to us monsters who knew the Pharaoh. Sephiroth tried to act like he wasn't interested in him, but he gave in eventually to Yagami's menstruations just like he always does. 

Well, at least he wasn't abusing us anymore. 

I assume the arrival of Sephiroth changed the Pharaoh. For that I am grateful. I was afraid I might have to 'accidentally' kill him myself. But I am also grateful to Sephiroth for another thing he has done. 

Remember the little interruption earlier? Yeah, that was from Djer. He's a Blue Eyes White Dragon. He belongs to Sephiroth. He created him here in the Shadow Realm. I've always been interested in Sephiroth. He was a different type of human. He didn't fear any of us. Not even Exodia when he came clunking around. 

 The big lug is very clumsy. You should see him try and walk into a crowded room. The guy's a super powered Steve Urkel. And you didn't hear that from me… 

" You're getting off subject."

" You only care now because I was talking about you."

" That's not true…. entirely…Yes it is!" ^_^

That's Djer. I was watching in the shadows when he was created. I couldn't believe how beautiful he and his brother and sisters were. All the dragons I'd seen were ugly as hell. I'd never seen one that looked anything like him. 

And when he fought. He and his siblings took down a Red Eyes Black Dragon like he was a plaything. He stood no chance at all. Even I couldn't do something like that without an extra spell or two. 

" Jealous Dark Magician?" 

" *Snorts* Hardly." 

I didn't see him much after that. When he did return to the Shadow Realm, he was heartbroken. I watched as his siblings tried to get him to talk or mourn with them; apparently their sister, Qenna was killed. But he just snapped at them and made them go away.

I know the pain of loss. A friend of mine is in an abusive relationship with his master. I keep telling him to get away from him, but he continues to proclaim his loyalty to his master and won't leave him for anything. So I tried my hand at getting the young dragon to open up to me. 

Sure, he snapped at me too. But I am not so easy to get rid of. After a chain spell to shut his mouth, but loose enough so he could talk, he settled down and explained everything to me.

He was crying before it was over, but he felt a lot better now that he wasn't holding it all in. He also told me about what happened to the Pharaoh and his koi, Sephiroth. I wanted to go make sure my master was alright, as strange as that was. He was a lot more likable when he wasn't an asshole. 

But I couldn't leave Djer. So I just created a small hole to see if Yagami was alright. He was heartbroken and in tears, but there was nothing I could do for him. And I had my hands full with a masterless dragon. 

Djer asked to stay with me. He promised he wouldn't be any trouble. I asked him why he wouldn't want to find another master. He said Sephiroth created him and he belonged to him and no one else. He refused to go back to the Light Realm. 

So I let him stay with me. 

" And then you fell into passionate love with me and couldn't live without me and begged me to marry you and be your koi-"

" *Thwaps with staff* That's not how it happened and you know it!!"

" *Rubs whelp on head*** **Ya didn't have ta hit me! Geez that hurt!"

Anyway, we stayed in the Shadow Realm for 5000 years. It didn't seem that long to us, but it was. I didn't think I'd ever be called again. Some other monsters told me that the Shadow Realm had been locked up. This should have bothered me, but it wasn't really my main priority at the time.

" Yea. You were too busy sucking on MY face."

" You say that like you didn't enjoy it." 

" *Blushes* Hentai!!"

" And you love me for it!" ^_^

Anyway, I was in pursuit of uncooperative koi one day. 

" Chasin' me all over the Shadow Realm just to get me to go into my human form. You should be ashamed of yourself!!"

" * Thwap* Shut up complainin' so I can tell the story!"

ANYWAY, I was in pursuit of my koi when I was suddenly yanked from my home in the Shadow Realm and into the Light Realm. I was very confused at first. I mean I was summoned in a battle after 5000 years. I wasn't exactly fresh off the assembly line. 

But that wasn't the biggest shock. 

The biggest shock was that my koi was summoned next. Djer was summoned right in front of me in his dragon form. I could see his master behind him. Taking a quick glance, I could see mine behind me too. But humans don't live that long; so I knew something was up. 

Then **it** happened. 

We were commanded to attack each other. 

And no matter how much our hearts didn't want to do it, our bodies did. 

Djer sent me to the Shadow Realm. Nothing hurt other than my pride. But once the battle was over; (who won I don't know) Djer collapsed on me; crying, swearing he didn't mean to hurt me and begging for forgiveness. I tried to tell him it was alright, but he was totally shattered. The best thing I could do was cast a sleep spell before he got too hysterical. 

The only other time we've had to fight was when his master's dark side came back. That imposter really got on my nerves when he commanded my koi. Though it hurt to see him infected, he said he would have preferred that I win this bout. He said it was only fair. 

I took care of him until the bug was out of his system. I haven't had to face him since then. For that I am thankful. I do not like facing my koi while our masters sling insults. 

Yagami-san can be so vicious. I think it's because this Seto Kaiba reminds him of Sephiroth. I haven't seen any sign of him yet. It must be hard on him. He has to watch and want something he can't have.

Well, that didn't last long. 

I remember I was called out in battle. Kaiba said something pertaining to Egypt. I think he was asking Yagami-san if he had any wives back then. It was a friendly duel if you want to call it that. Yagami-san just put down his cards and walked around to his side of the field. We just watched him in confusion and fascination. 

He got close enough to Kaiba, put his hand on the back of his neck and pulled him into one of the most passionate kisses I've ever seen. 

Of course, I can't really count that many, because I've had my eyes closed during my make-out sessions with Djer. 

After that, they've been pretty much inseparable. Yagami-san spends all his time over at the mansion. I get to be with my koi all I want. Seeing as how their decks are combined now. Those two duel together or not at all. And when the deck is shuffled, Djer-koi and me always end up together. Me the seme of course!

Oh! We're moving. And quite fast I think. I wonder what's going on?

" Stay away from me Yami!!" 

" Don't make this hard Seto-koi!! You can't run forever! You have to rest sometime!"

" I supposed I'll get rest around you?!!"

" Only after a strenuous workout," ^_^," Now come back here so I can make you scream!!"

" * Blushes* Yami no hentai!!" 

" You say that like it's a bad thing!" 

^_^U Yagami-san is chasing after Kaiba again. He does that a lot. I think he likes it. Kaiba should just give up. He'll never get Yagami to leave him alone once he's decided it's 'Screw the Priest' time. Which reminds me, it's 'Screw the Dragon' time! 

" Oh Djer?" 

" I know that look. You keep your hands to yourself Magician!! * Runs*"

" They always want to do it the hard way. *Sighs* Uke's never behave. Ah well! If they didn't then we couldn't chase them down and punish them," ^_^," I'm gonna getcha Djer!!"

~Owari~

DM: That fic had no point what so ever!

OGE: It had fluff!

DM: Oh it had 'fluff'! That makes it all better doesn't it?! You yaoi fangirls are not well. You should get some help!

OGE: What can I say? If I can't have Kaiba-kun, then no other girl can.

DM: No other girl, but a Pharaoh claims him daily. 

OGE: And you know?

DM: We can hear them. I'm surprised you can't. They'll so loud. Well, Yagami-san isn't quite the loud on, it's more Sephiroth that's the loud one. I mean with all the things he and Yagami-san do. You'd be surprised how flexible Sephiroth is when Yagami-san-

OGE: Shut up talkin' to me! You're making my muse put ideas in my head! I'm going to write more yaoi. * Mutters* Stupid wiseass, hentai Dark Magician….


End file.
